


PORTS OF CALL [a fanmix for fjord from critical role: campaign 2 (levels 1-10)]

by losebetter



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Analysis, Fanmix, Gen, M/M, Meta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-17 23:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21501523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losebetter/pseuds/losebetter
Summary: this is a mix intended to be listened to in order; the overall effect is for that of a storm at sea. this is a playlist built in upbeat moments of hope, hard and sudden crashes, and the sensation of a slow, deep sinking, as fjord grits his sore teeth and holds fast through his journey with the mighty nein. it was great fun to work on, and i really hope you like it!23 tracks / spotify link included!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	PORTS OF CALL [a fanmix for fjord from critical role: campaign 2 (levels 1-10)]

**Author's Note:**

> \- song 7 (al'tarba's _still insomniac_ ) contains voice clips of people discussing their nightmares, insomnia, paranoia, and hallucinations. if this kind of auditory trigger will get to you, skip it!  
> \- this mix/meta assumes and makes reference to a read of fjord as a gay man. it also implies widofjord. either abstain from listening to it, or get over it.  
> \- this mix and associated meta contain **spoilers** for a huge chunk of the campaign.  
> \- songs 11 & 14 are, for reasons beyond my control, not on spotify! there are links to them on youtube where they fall in the meta, but you'll have to pause the spotify playlist and all that, sorry for the trouble.

**PORTS OF CALL** \- _a fanmix for fjord from critical role: campaign two_ _(levels 1-10)_

23 tracks / [[LISTEN ON SPOTIFY]](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3qZx3qsLHnkJQc9m5qHIFe)

* * *

  1. **frog's theme: medieval/orchestral remix** ( _chrono trigger_ OST)


  * overall theme. adventure, heroism, atonement, loyalty, grief; It's Not Easy Being Green, the sword in the stone. a monster is king arthur now, and he's doing it better than you could imagine. no matter how bleak things get, your heart will carry you through!


  1. **ordinary day** (great big sea)


  * entrance point. maybe it's gonna be okay! jester's unshakeable optimism. meeting beau. there are hints under the surface that fjord is hurting more than he lets on - and looming, _a double-edged knife_. but ultimately, this is his life, and he's the one in control of it. isn't he?


  1. **a mask of my own face** (lemon demon)


  * _i look into my eye holes, and what do i see? a handsome motherfucker motherfuckin' lookin back at me!_ another angle on the odyssean mystery of how fjord moves through the world. (gay fjord crops up here for the first time: _i'll wear it to a hoedown and i'll dance with all the belles, and nobody would know that i was secretly myself!)_


  1. **the wolf** (siames)


  * something is pulling at him. something isn't right. fjord is suffering from dreams - nightmares - that are cracking him down the middle.


  1. **st. jude** (florence + the machine)


  * memories of the driftwood asylum, sabien, and growing up, timed with fjord's first major lore reveal. poor, abandoned, but not hopeless. sabien isn't nice - but he is what fjord has, through everything, and vandran brought them on together.


  1. **dragon roost island** ( _the legend of zelda: the wind waker_ OST)


  * zadash. finding his feet. fjord is starting to feel stronger, more at home, yet he goes through the trouble to keep that old armor. every step he takes reminds him of where he came from.


  1. **still insomniac** (al'tarba)


  * fjord is taken over; he can't deny it anymore. whatever has brought him here, whatever has saved his life, whatever has given him these powers that keep him in the good standing of the people he loves, it is killing him. and it has a name: _uk'otoa_.


  1. **grace kelly** (mika)


  * a bit of molly's influence here. manners lessons with beau. jester, nott, caleb - it seems everyone has ideas about what fjord could do and who he could be. round and round and overwhelmed. he's not unhappy, but under the surface -- _you only want what everyone else says you should want_. 


  1. **fresh start fever** (you me at six)


  * hupperdook. there's a war building every day, and yet the tide of fjord's confidence is coming in. the hour of honor. if his life is a fight, he will clench his fist. fjord believes in the M9 more than anything - this is his place, this could be his family. his last memories of mollymauk alive.


  1. **4 o'clock** (emily autumn)


  * at first, it's only a nightmare - then it becomes so much worse. the darkness, the cold of iron cages, the isolation. at first, sounds of combat - and then nothing. fjord is trapped like a beast, and maybe even worse, he's trapped in his own head. he failed them. no one is coming for him. toward the end, the discordant desperation of jester's singing along with his thoughts tips him over the edge and into silence. _why should i wake when i'm half past dead?_


  1. [**don't carry it all**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a_FQr8ADTo) (lindsey stirling and shaun barrowes)


  * the rescue, opening the cage. episode 30, and the voice of reason: caleb. " _this won't happen again_." rest. recover. no one has all the answers. leadership is a burden they can share, and be better for it. " _it is not your fault, when you are… taken advantage of._ " 


  1. **come a little closer** (cage the elephant)


  * _do you understand the things that you've been seein'? do you understand the things that you've been dreamin'?_ fjord's solitary two-week trip, and the knowledge that it hasn't brought him any closer to answers. he has to know the truth. he returns to his friends, and they pass through guarded borders to leave the war behind. arrival in nicodranas. trepidation. resolve. fjord is hurting, but what he's looking for is out there - it has to be.


  1. **black belt** (john grant)


  * avantika vs fjord - she's schooled him with the thing she has that he doesn't: commitment to her beliefs. _this_ is uk'otoa's golden boy? she beats him to every punch, catches every attempt he makes to outwit her, and within moments she has his friends, his family, tangled up in a web that will only get tighter unless fjord submits to her. so he does. what choice does he have?


  1. [**freaking out**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QGvt7QgTuQ) (mystery skulls)


  * it actually takes a moment to find fjord's POV again after his confrontation with avantika; this song starts with caleb (he's looking, after all), and though fjord resurfaces and tries to reassure them, he is very clearly losing it. they have to get through this. fjord's guilt, the responsibility he feels for trapping the M9 here with him, is enough to consume him.


  1. **rain in soho** (the mountain goats)


  * caleb's sombre promise. one experienced liar to another. " _i think that woman will try to kill you, i really do_." and yet, _"do what you have to."_ he's looking out for him. and maybe he even understands fjord on a primal sort of level. they are the same creature. _no promise sweeter than a blood pact._..


  1. **underwater** (mika)


  * fjord has given up. he opens his eyes underneath the water he'll never surface from again. caleb's wall of fire. avantika's death. the plank king's judgment. fjord has survived, but he's completely losing his grip - he's too deep for the others to reach, though they've begun to try. but maybe, as long as caleb is guiding him, as long as the water drowns out everything else, he'll find peace.


  1. **the longest mile** (circa survive)


  * this was the hunt for vandran - so where is he? if fjord isn't on the path to him, what is he _doing?_ what has he been dragging his family into? they have to turn back. he loves them too much, and the ocean is an open wound. after a long while of pretending to be a captain, fjord finally settles into the role to bring them home. _if i make it in one piece back to land, i will never sail again._ there are still unanswered questions, but for now they'll stay unanswered.


  1. **various storms & saints** (florence + the machine)


  * the M9 leave their ship behind, but fjord is still shambling like his head is a shipwreck he can't escape. thus... adjustment to the "new normal." finding the light at the bottom of the sea. they move along, mostly focused elsewhere, but occasionally a question floats to the surface: "is fjord okay?" he's fine. sometimes pain cannot be recovered from, it can only be endured. _some things you let go in order to live._


  1. **your contract has expired** ( _a hat in time_ OST)


  * " _PUNISH._ " fjord isn't getting away that easily. if uk'otoa tearing him apart in his nightmares isn't hurting anymore, then he'll trap him there. the loss of his powers. the night spent next to caleb in a cold sweat, thoughts skittering like scared animals. and for a moment: the little illusory bird. fjord is stumbling, staggering, gritting his teeth under the weight of it - which is not without its heroism.


  1. **know who you are** ( _moana_ OST)


  * the taste of the sea, the taste of his own blood. suddenly, the crackling of vines, centuries old. a light. the wildmother - his mother, mother of lost sailors and everything he loved about the sea as a child - lifting him right from the nightmare. a brief flash of the purest hope he's ever experienced. _this is not who you are… you know who you are._


  1. **head like a hole** (nine inch nails)


  * breaking awake at midnight to the heat of the anvil as frigid winds whip out across kravaraad. blood that pounds in his ears and hisses when it touches the underforge. _"you need me more than i need you._ " fjord doesn't need uk'otoa to keep his family, and he refuses to let it take them away from him. _i'd rather die than give you control_.


  1. **5/6** (jason mraz)


  * an introspection. balance. meditations with caduceus and beauregard, the heady smell of wet earth where one might stand in just the right spot to squint and see the ocean. letting vandran go - and in step with his friends, an affinity. shows of strength and solidarity and devotion that point him toward absolution, toward the version of himself he never dreamed he could become. _"do you struggle?" "no."_


  1. **waking up the giants** (grizfolk)


  * the end, for now. (it's more of a beginning.) decisions lay ahead. where has fjord come from, and who will it make him? and who is watching? _where's the truth when your heart's not lying?_



**Author's Note:**

> i've been hanging onto this mix for a really long time, and figured i'd post it! i love fjord a lot, thank you guys for coming on this journey with me.


End file.
